Unbelievably devastating
Infidelity feels shocking and bewildering. Whether it’s a long-term affair, pornography, communicating with an ex on Facebook, emotional cheating, or some other type of betrayal, it all feels unbelievably hurtful.
You start your relationship with utmost trust that your partner is going to be there for you – ALWAYS. So, when betrayal occurs, it’s hard to find a glimmer of hope.
How we got here
Because of social media and dating apps, the dynamics and frequency of infidelity have changed from previous generations. Infidelity has become easier to hide but can be just as devastating when discovered.
I work with both straight and LGBTQ families to bring healing.
How she copes
In heterosexual relationships, one difficult aspect of infidelity recovery is that each person is coming from a different perspective. The woman may feel the need to talk about the affair long after it has come to light, whereas the man may feel that she should be over it by now.
The woman is processing the pain; it’s a coping mechanism for her. Women often deal with trauma by talking through it. But the man tends to think that she’s beating him up – that she’s trying to shame him or punish him.
How he hears
So, the man may find it helpful to try to hear the pain behind her words instead of focusing on the words themselves. It’s best if he can avoid getting too caught up in whether she’s being fair or whether he agrees with all the specifics.
By hearing her pain, he can avoid defensiveness and, instead, offer care and concern.
For LGBTQ couples
The dynamics of infidelity recovery for LGBTQ couples can be different, but how each person hears the other on a thinking and feeling level is still vital. In a world where there is still an abundance of discrimination and the resulting pressure, I love being able to help LGBTQ couples come back together in renewal and strength.
Can we recover?
Recovery from an affair is possible. I help couples create a way forward that involves a commitment to complete honesty, accountability, and making amends to the injured partner.
While the relationship is forever changed, there is hope for a renewed connection based on trust and respect.
You need a therapist who can skillfully help you work through the issues. I create a welcoming space to help you find your way back to a great relationship.
Let me help you build a strong bond again. You’ve got nothing to lose by calling me at (919) 533-7907.